|Posted on March 3, 2015 at 7:15 PM||comments (4)|
All topics so far have been important; but this one is a biggie. So many times we start relationships of all kinds without taking the TIME to really get to know ourselves; our wants, needs, and goals before we enter into relationships. It's important. You can't get to really KNOW someone from texting, or from Instagram, Twitter, or any other Social Media outlet. A relationship must be built; much like a house. You don't start with the roof, you build from the ground up.
There are 3 things that Healthy Relationships are built from and I call it the Three T's.
1)Time - You have to spend the time to get to know someone.
2) Talking - Texting is typing, not the same as talking. Pick up the phone and have a real conversation; it will help you decide if you even enjoy talking to the person, or for that matter like their voice :). I once talked to a boy on the phone, that I thought I liked, only to discover he was quite boring on the phone, and I soon lost interest.
3) Together- In order to get to know a person, you have to be around each other. Communication is 93% non-verbal, and only 7% is verbal. It's hard to know what a person is like if you've only communicated via text, snapchat, instagram or any other social Media outlet. When you are around each other, you can see if they really mean what they say; by their body language.
Now that you have the recipe; here are the ingredients.
Mutual Respect - Respect by definition means to have a feeling of admiration for someone that is good, valuable and important. A person that respects you will respect your boundaries; and not try to push their agenda on to you, out of respect.
Trust - The more you know about a person, the more you can trust them. As I said earlier it is built. If you see your guy or girl talking to another; do you immediately become jealous? If so, it can be a natural reaction; but how you respond determines how much you trust the person.
Support - There's an old saying that says " I will be there with you; through thick and thin." In a healthy relationship when it gets thick, real friends or partners won't disappear; but be right there with you, supporting you through whatever you are going through. Anyone can be there when everything's going well; the true test comes when life gets tough.
Honesty - This one goes hand in hand with trust, because you simply can't trust someone who isn't honest. Maya Angelou has a quote that says "if someone shows you who they are, believe them." If you are not being shown honesty, believe them, and remove yourself from the relationship, because it is not a healthy one, and will usually lead to hurt feelings.
Separate identities - It is important to be able to remain yourself in any relationship. You should not have to sacrifice you, for the sake of a relationship. You should continue to have other friends, enjoy your family, and activiites you enjoy (be it sports, dancing, etc.).
Relationships that allow and make room for these key ingredients always last longer, than those that do not, and are deemed unhealthy. Abuse of any kind (verbal, physical, threats), and are not conducive to a healthy relationship. Being in a relationship should make you feel good or better about yourself, but remember we teach people how to treat us; so make sure you are treating yourself well, first.
Here's to great relationships!!!
|Posted on January 19, 2015 at 9:10 AM||comments (0)|
The relationship between Social Media, Self-Worth and Self-Esteem is worth examining. Too often we are looking for validation from our Social Media outlets; be it Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, or Instagram. It's all set up in a way where we receive instant gratification (likes, retweets, comments, etc.). Research has shown that 50% of of users (from the pool of participants) reported that their Self-esteem suffered when they compare themselves to their online friends. What does this mean to you? Should you measure how many likes you have, or work on liking yourself more?
Social Media is not solely responsible for us seeking external validation; but it certainly facilitates it. And it can be used for positivity, like spreading good news, celebrating you and other's accomplishments. It becomes a negative force when comments are used to hurt, harm, or tear down another individual. We are all human and feel bad when our feelings are hurt. BE RESPONSIBLE, and practice being responsible.
Here are few Telltale signs that Social Media may be affecting your Self-Esteem and Self-Worth, or has become unhealthy.
1) If your behavior becomes addictive (you can't live without snapchat, facebook, or any other social media). And it has become disruptive to your real-world thoughts and interactions. You feel worried or anxious when you can't access your Social Media. It's time to take a break and reevaluate your usage (Ask for help from a parent, or you and a friend challenge each other to give up access for a week).
2) If Social Media affects your mood. If you feel bad or worse about yourself after participating in Social Media activity; and unable to bounce back and engage with friends or family. Studies have shown that girls and women who spent long periods of time on facebook, or photocentric networks had more problems with their Body Image, and were more self-conscience about their physical appearance. Remember this is not the REAL WORLD. You are only seeing a snapshot of what others want to show you.
3) If you are measuring your success by others perspective successes. Jealousy in social media can become like a cancer and spread very rapidly; killing all the good intentions of another person. BE CAREFUL not to promote envy and jealousy. Remember success isn't measured by who has the best body, most likes, or followers, but success is based on being your BEST SELF, having faith in yourself, and knowing that you could never be duplicated. BE YOURSELF.
Sometimes when our computers or smartphones start to malfunction, or stop working. We either unplug it, shut it down, or reset it. Maybe it's time to unhook from Social Media, and reevaluate how you feel about yourself. Hit the reset button, so that you may be happier and healthier, and lead a life based on your best SELFIE :).
|Posted on December 4, 2014 at 2:50 PM||comments (0)|
Self-Esteem; To think highly of oneself. Let's think about that for just a second. How highly do you think of yourself?
Is it reflected in the things you tell yourself; about yourself? Are you seeking validation from the outside; from followers
on social media? What does your "selfie" say about you?
To achieve Self-esteem (yes it is an achievement) you have to work on complimenting yourSELF; especially
in those times of self-doubt. It is attained from the inside out; not the other way around. If
you want to lose 20lbs, you may feel great, and look great on the outside, but if you still feel lost
and confused and unworthy on the inside, the feeling will dissipate, and the weight will probably return.
It is only until you know that your value does not depend on sizes or any other outside factor,
that you will shine, no matter what the size or exterior cirmcumstance.
|Posted on October 16, 2014 at 2:25 PM||comments (40)|
|Posted on September 12, 2014 at 1:30 PM||comments (1)|
What does your behavior say about you? Does it say; I am confident. I know where I am going. Or does it say something like I don't know who I am, I have no idea where I am going. Teen Girls represent a great majority of high schools, middle schools and elementary schools. How we behave teaches others how to treat us. We must behave in a manner that says I respect myself, and therefore deserve respect. Speak positively. Two of the most powerful phrases you can use are "Please and "Thank You." Your behavior is reflected in what you choose to wear, what you say, how you walk. Behave as a princess would, wear the crown.
|Posted on August 6, 2014 at 2:25 PM||comments (5)|
Let's talk about Presentation for a moment. Have you ever heard the phrases "a picture is worth a thousand words." Or, "first impressions are lasting impressions." Presentation is key to how and what we think of ourselves, and how others perceive us. As Teen girls, we must be aware of our presentation, and that it is real, true, and positive. If you want to be heard, speak in a tone that is warming, and postive.
Presentation: Begins with knowing who you are; start with affirmations beginning with I AM....... and watch how your presentation soars.
I am a strong person.
I am smart.
I am valuable.
I am beautiful.
I am worthy.
I am uniquely created.
I am fearless.
I am graceful.
I am powerful.
I am courageous.
I AM LOVABLE!